How are you feeling this coming holiday season? How have your past holidays been? Think back to your very first holidays? Were you excited, anticipating unexpected treasures, surrounded by love ones with plenty of food and a warm and loving home? Or have all your holidays been filled with dread, looniness, anger or even jealousy?
Each holiday season brings up unexpected emotions and feelings. Some very good, others no so much. It is how we react not only to the holiday season but for all occasions in our life.
Holidays are meant to be with people you love. As should every day, however that is not always possible. During covid many were lost, but don’t we lose love ones everyday whether through a physical death or the lost of a relationship? It’s how we react to these changes of life that is important.
Let’s take physical loss. I have lost all my family members and my husband through a divorce. I have lost all the pets I have owned and yes, the holidays have been a difficult time for me. How have I coped these past 15 years. The first Christmas was very difficult for me. Friends took me to Laughlin Nv. A gambling town on the first Christmas without my family. I didn’t want to go but they insisted. I drank to much, ate too much and gambled when I should not have. Yes, it was fun but did not it replace the deep sorrow I was feeling? NO! The next Christmas I spent alone and I must say, that was extremely difficult for me. (The first year after a loss is not always the worst!) I remembered watching A Christmas Story and crying because I didn’t want the dog to die, but was that really the reason I was crying. No! Crying is a healthy way to release deep negative emotions. After spending many holidays alone, I finally became friends with a gal who only had her mother and the 3 of us spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas together. She passed 2 years ago. I did spend that Christmas eve and Christmas day with her mom as I didn’t want her to be alone as I knew how badly she was suffering. Now she has her other adopted daughter living with her so now I am back to being alone. You know what? That’s ok.
I have found what works best for me is watching A Christmas Story once or twice, whatever I feel like and cooking a dinner I normally would not have usually prime rib. I look at pictures which I couldn’t do the first few years after my loss. Now I remember all the good loving times feeling very fortunate to have experienced. Not everyone comes from a loving family.
No matter what trials and tribulations you are feeling and going through any holiday season, whether it is the physical loss or ending of a relationship, bad health, financial insecurity, homelessness, ending of a career remember to count your blessings. No matter how big or small they may be as your are a child of the nighty creator whom I choose to call God and His Angels are your siblings, your soul mates, your helpers whom love you at all times no matter what. You were created from love whether your parents loved you or not and your Angels will not ever let you down. Learn to talk with Them. Learn that you DO deserve Their love and help. All you have to do is ask, then listen and react with your heart.
In the meantime, find things to do that make you happy. Volunteer, go to friends, help plan or have a party. Meet up with people you love at special places. Go for a walk or hike. Take a trip or just go for a drive. Visit a museum or botanical garden. Decorate your home or declutter your home. Give gifts of love and kindness. You don’t have to spend money to share love and kindness. Watch a good movie or read a book and remember it is ok to cry. Write down your feelings. Count the blessings you have and remember, nothing lasts forever. If you are going through a difficult time, keep saying this too shall pass.
I hope this brings some comfort and love to you during this and every holiday season! And always remember you are not ever alone! They love you unconditionally!
